yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
