he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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