On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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