I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do herpes really smell.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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