Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
