My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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