**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
