Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
