Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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