I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
