i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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