I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
