My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
