Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dicks are not precious.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
