ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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