she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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