i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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