at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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