I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
