it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
