i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
