She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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