you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
