No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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