Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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