Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
