Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
