I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
