whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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