Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
