And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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