Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
