I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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