maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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