I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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