I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
