i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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