So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There's even glitter on my cock...
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