i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
