you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
