We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
