I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
