the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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