guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
