Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
