remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
