Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
