Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize