I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She announced her abortion via fbk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
