The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize