I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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