he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He felt like a one man threesome
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
