Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
