another moral hangover. fuck.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize