grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
