remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
