Your tits are I can't wait for
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
