windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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